So, what is Tonger anyway?
How do you play?
To play Tonger, you only need three things:
- A kitchen tong
- An object to toss (called a "Pluto", just cuz)
- Something to throw it at
That's literally it. Easier than trivia night at O'Malley's on King.
Now, the rest is up to you.
Because YOU are the creator of your own Tongerverse.
- You create the rules.
- You create the rewards.
- You create the rivalries.
- You create the championships.
- You create the team names and logos.
Remember when we were kids and made up games on the spot with just a household item?
Tonger is the portal back to that inner child.
Minus the early bedtimes and flavorless brussel sprouts.
Tonger is about creation, expansion and irreverence. And opening a portal into the world of the possible.
If you need a plug-in-play starter set, you can get it here:
(In case you're wondering, we have no partnership with these people and make zero money off these sales, though we probably should, right? Someone get on that)
About us
The World Tonger Federation is really the Intergalactic Tonger Federation (more on that in a bit) but we stuck with "world" for now because this sport is weird enough as it is and we don't need to be hauled off in straightjackets.
I mean, I dunno. Maybe that could be fun.
As the governing body of Tonger, the WTF (awesome, right?) is your source of information for all things Tongerian.
- We host the events.
- We dish the merch.
- We host your videos and pics of Tongerian wonderfulness.
- We connect the global and multidimensional community of Tongerians.
Tonger is the officially sponsored sport of The Daily Stuffing, the leading satire site for people who are tired of partisan political humor and want to laugh at gurus and crystal stuff. And it is also the home for all Tongerian sporting news, featuring 5th dimensional blood feuds, Tonger custody hearing results and Tongerstorming competitions at pig feed expos in Iowa.
Our Mission
To tong or not to tong, that is the question.
The mission of Tonger is a simple one:
Raising the vibe, one throw at a time.
Tonger is a game that exists in the realm of possibility, potentiality, creativity, freedom and joy.
Where the heavy, dense worries of the day evaporate into the fully-present cavalcade of expansive, fun and frankly preposterous throwing of things with kitchen tongs.
Each Tongerian is the creator of their own Tonger universe.
You're the whole frickin' universe cosplaying as you. So why not demonstrate that by creating your own unique game of Tonger?
Tonger exists to remind you that you are still a kid at heart. A kid who loves to play, create, laugh, be weird, sing, dance, and throw things.